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Where Parts and EMDR Meet in Therapy

Writer's picture: Samantha Haling, LPCSamantha Haling, LPC

A big thank you to my clients for teaching me about parts and trusting me in the process!


What Are Parts?


As humans, we are anything but one-dimensional. “We are complex critters,” as a wise therapist once put it. We have emotions, beliefs, goals, needs. We tell ourselves stories about the things that have happened to us. We come up with creative, sometimes ingenious, solutions to problems. We contradict ourselves. These are our parts! If you’ve ever felt stuck in a bad habit despite trying desperately to change or struggled to make a decision because you feel pulled in two directions or felt small when someone talked over you in a meeting, you’ve just met a part of yourself.


The concept of parts shows up across many different theories, modalities and religious and spiritual frameworks. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is one approach that has stepped into the spotlight in recent years. IFS sees parts as “sub-personalities” with their own likes, dislikes, interests, emotions and skills. Ego state therapies define parts more scientifically as neural networks in the brain that hold information about our experiences. The way this information is stored depends on several things, including our age or developmental stage and what our nervous system was doing at the time (if we felt scared, angry, calm or dissociated). 


When something overwhelms our nervous systems (there’s too much happening, too quickly and too soon before it can be processed), the information about how we experienced that event gets stored maladaptively. In other words, our emotions, thoughts and body feelings are jumbled up, locked away, frozen in time and unintegrated. These parts of us are stuck in the past and act as if nothing has changed since then. 



Parts and EMDR


While parts therapy is effective on its own in “unsticking” what’s gotten stuck in our nervous systems, the modality also blends well with Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), an evidence-based therapeutic approach to treating trauma. (If you want to learn more about EMDR, you can read Kaitlin's Intro to EMDR Blog!)


EMDR and parts work take slightly different approaches to healing. EMDR follows a specific protocol that contains eight flexible phases and focuses on systematically identifying and reprocessing memories that have been stored maladaptively. Parts work on the other hand, is less structured and involves building relationships with the exiled “selves” that hold those traumatic memories. 


Types of Parts


Parts can be generally categorized into two types: protectors and wounded parts (called “exiles” in IFS). Our wounded parts are the younger versions of us that keep painful experiences contained and separate from the rest of our internal system so we can carry on with everyday life without getting overwhelmed or retraumatized. One of the most powerful and transformational aspects of parts therapy lies in the process of rescuing wounded parts and helping them to release the pain they have been holding. This also leaves more room for us to enjoy their innate and wonderful qualities: joy, playfulness, creativity, sensitivity, curiosity, humor and more.  


While our “exiled” parts work tirelessly to hold the pain, our protectors act as a security team, making sure the pain doesn’t leak out. We can think of protectors more broadly as strategies or defense mechanisms aimed at keeping us safe. Many came about to help us cope with early life traumas or experiences we were ill-equipped to handle. Some protectors have complex or nuanced approaches like procrastination, perfectionism or people pleasing that can leave us wondering “How in the world is this helpful?” Other protectors might even behave in ways that are intense, dangerous and extreme.  


The strategies that protector parts use likely aren’t serving you now and might, in fact, end up being the very symptoms that bring you to therapy! This said, it’s important to remember that at some point, these strategies worked and may have even been the reason you made it this far. Protector parts care deeply about us, even if their “job” makes it seem otherwise. Parts therapy helps us build the self-compassion and understanding we need to be able to witness, appreciate and unburden all our parts, even the really scary or “hard-to-love” ones. 


Samantha on a telehealth session in her office.
Samantha on a telehealth session in her office.

The Benefits of Combining Parts Therapy with EMDR


Knowing about parts can be both useful and important when it comes to EMDR. EMDR takes us straight to our wounded parts, so if our protectors aren’t fully on board, they may double down on their efforts or block memory reprocessing altogether. The more traumatic experiences we have been through, the more wounded parts (and protectors) we might have. For individuals who have experienced complex or developmental trauma and who may have higher levels of dissociation, parts therapy can serve either as preparation for EMDR or as a safer and gentler alternative. 


As I tell clients, we always want to make sure we have permission from all parts before moving forward with EMDR. Not only does this help to ensure that trauma therapy is as safe and effective as possible, but it also helps us to build trust with parts of us that may never have been given the option to say “no.” This alone can be a new and deeply healing experience. 


Both parts therapy and EMDR can bring about positive shifts in our physical and emotional responses to present day stressors, as well as our beliefs and narratives about what happened in the past. If you are interested in parts work or EMDR (or a combination of the two), please reach out to RVA Counseling to schedule an appointment!


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